i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just pee around me
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
