I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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