ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
God, I missed his penis.
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