i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
