A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
