my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
