She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
