so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
