No, you can still breathe under the balls.
home. puking in laundry basket.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
