I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
