A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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