I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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