how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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