I must be too annoying 4 u.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
