I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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