That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
