You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize
