Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
