Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
