dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
