no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
