Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
