She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
