I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Randomize
