You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It's shark week go big or go home
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
