why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
