ya dads aren't the best wingmen
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Randomize
