i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
