After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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