Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize