Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
