just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
i think i just lost a toe
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
