I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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