Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
