**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
