I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize