I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
