Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
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