Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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