Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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