u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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