he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
