Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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