I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
