Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
