I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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