Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
