remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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