no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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