I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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