You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
