I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
im six kinds of drunk right now
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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