where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He called his prostate his "boner button".
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
