You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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