the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
