"it" just moved
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
