The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
