I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
