didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize
