Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
