if i died would you start the facebook group?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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