tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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