Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
i think i just lost a toe
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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