Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
