i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
