Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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