New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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