So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
