I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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