Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
