after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
